When told that some of the money he was getting from the Republican tax cuts was coming from Weather Service staffing cuts that can be directly linked to the deaths of over two dozen children at a Texas summer camp, Dan Framington, shopping for his second Maserati with the anticipated tax cut proceeds, said that he would double his usual offering of thoughts and prayers to the tragedy’s victims and their families.

“These tragedies, like deaths from gun violence or medical misinformation, just keep on coming, unpredictably, one after another,” he said as he reviewed a selection of fine Nappa leathers, his eyes jumping back and forth between Cuoio and Rosso. “At a time like this, we really need to dig deep and open our hearts and give generously,” he added before settling on Rosso, which he believed would nicely complement the Bianco Granturismo Metallic and High Gloss Carbon Fibre Twill Trim exterior that he knew would really make a statement at the country club.

The staff at Langholm’s Maserati in Omaha were so touched by Framington’s generosity that they offered him an extra complementary double espresso.

“My only regret,” he said, as he filled out the wire transfer form, “besides of course the tragic loss of life that could have been prevented if we had an administration that accepted basic climate science and prioritized the well-being of all citizens over a select few wealthy ones like me, is that the changes to the tax code didn’t include some type of write-off for intangible charitable donations, such as the big one I’m giving today. It hurts,” he said, pausing for a moment to ensure the sales manager’s expression appropriately reflected sympathy. “But I guess at a time like this we all need to make sacrifices.”